Blogging has been hard to fit into my busy schedule for the last few years and in fact I stopped for a long time. A daily three hour commute, a cocker spaniel and never having a free weekend put paid to any writing for fun.
But earlier this year something happened that stopped everything and then I couldn’t do enough to stay busy, apart from write.
My little brother died, he was 21 and had always had a few problems because of a genetic connective tissue disorder. But he was fit, handsome and the life and soul of any party. Flying planes, playing cricket and a lover of puns – Charlie was pretty special and he lived life to the full.
But one Monday morning he left for work and life changed. He had a rare type of brain aneurism, none of us knew about it and I think that is a good thing.
The aneurism caused a massive stroke and our tall, strong boy became very very ill. It is incredibly rare and his neurosurgeon has only ever seen it this once.
After four days of hell for him and us we lost him.
We were all in bits, so cross that he had missed out on all his plans, finishing university, travelling and becoming so successful. Absolutely devastated that we no longer had our Charlie.
While my Mum and sister sat inconsolable on the sofa I organised his funeral – the hymns, vicar, order of service. I baked cakes for the 400 people that came to his funeral, anything but really think about what had happened.
Shortly after Charlie’s funeral I went back to work for the last two weeks of my contract, then moved home to live with my parents and continued to keep busy.
But over the last few weeks life has become calmer. I do a little freelance work, see my family and visit friends every now and again but I’m not busy like I used to be.
And after a lot of thinking I have sat down to write. To tell you why I want to blog again. Tears are running down my face but I know that this is a therapy.
To share all the makes, bakes and other bits n bobs I fill my days with is something I enjoy and I need to do something I enjoy.
Even though the reason I’m returning to blogging is so sad I promise I won’t be miserable.